How mentally strong are your children? Raising healthy, mentally adjusted children, who are able to deal with the challenges of life as adults can be a challenge. Modern parenting practices have changed considerably over time. The way your grandparents raised your parents, or your parents raised you, may be quite different from the way that you are raising your own children. There are shelves of books in any bookstore and countless titles available online from experts, to guide modern parents in their goal of raising mentally strong children.
Modern parenting and traditional family roles have changed considerably over time, too. Traditional roles of a husband and wife have changed, too. It is very common in modern families for both parents to work full time. Is there a stay-at-home parent in your family? Do you or your partner, parent, full time? For most families, both parents need to work to make a living.
Depending on your joint incomes and strengths, it may be the case that one parent decides to fulfill the role of primary parent while his or her partner is the breadwinner. Every family is different. Family structures and relationships have also changed quite dramatically over the past decades. There are many different kinds of families. There are family units with single parents or extended step-siblings, step-parents, and more complex family patterns.
Traditionally, more old-fashioned parenting techniques have changed too, and now embrace a range of philosophies and styles that are quite different to previous generations. There are 13 things that mentally strong parents never do. Are you guilty of any of these?
1. Never Indulge A Pity Party
Teaching children to be resilient is one of the best things that you can do. Yes, Sammy is upset that she wasn’t chosen to be the lead in the school play, or, little David didn’t make the basketball team again this year. Children have a right to express their emotions and feel sad or be upset. However, allowing children to think that they are victims of life and have no choice, and are allowed to sulk, is not psychologically healthy.
It is far better to teach your children that they have options and as upset as they are, that there are other choices that they can make. Perhaps David can try another sport, or try again when he is a bit taller. Sammy has been chosen to be a part of the chorus and has a lovely singing voice. Yes, she is upset that she isn’t going to be the star of the show but, she needs to change her focus and see that she is a part of the play, and adjust her thinking.
“10 Second Pity Party”…be firm. Teach your children that they are not victims of life. Life is full of rejections, and it is important to be able to understand that it is not personal. Your children may be rejected many times in life – from colleges, from romantic partners, from potential employees. Being able to bounce back from these experiences and being mentally resilient is an essential life skill.
It starts with teaching children that they can take positive action to change their life and that sulking, and feeling sorry for oneself, is not something to dwell on. It is unhealthy to do this and children need to learn how to deal with rejection from a young age or risk believing they are victims of life, as adults. Never indulge an extended ‘pity-party’ or sulky behavior.